


The Impossible Dream of Alexander Hamilton

by AsguardianAgentSuperSoldier



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (for a bit), Angst with a Happy Ending, But I am a feels dealer, Canonical Character Death, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Love, Hence the MCD, I would apologise, Kinda, Laf Knows, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, im so sorry, major angst, not an au, very gay, very very light smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:19:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10509921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsguardianAgentSuperSoldier/pseuds/AsguardianAgentSuperSoldier
Summary: Alexander comes back from battle looking like sex, what else was John meant to do? Apart from confess his love for him.A/N: What?! I can't spoil the angsty bits for you can I! Enjoy the angst :)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Libby and Caitlin my fellow Hamilton lovers and lams shippers. All I can say to you guys is:
> 
> I'm sorry... I'm so sorry
> 
>  
> 
> This hasn't been check for any mistakes so if you see please tell me!
> 
> And like I said....
> 
> ENJOY THE ANGST.

Laurens watched from a far as Hamilton was cheered back into camp, he was the man of the hour after leading his squadron in an attack on the British forces. It must have gone successfully as they paraded him back in, cheers erupting as more and more people spotted who it was.

Now John didn’t give a single shit about this, instead he was entranced with how Alex looked as he was slowly lowered down. His usual ponytail must have come loose during the fight as his hair flew about in the slight wind that had been present all day, his face was bright red and drenched in sweat and his clothes were askew. To put it plainly, the man looked like sin. A pure sinful mess, and as he walked into his tent Laurens couldn’t help but begin to wander over to him.

He briskly walked to his tent, stopping for a moment to look around and after only spotting Lafayette who gave him a nod accompanied by a wink he stepped in.

To Alex taking his shirt off.

So of course, he did the rational thing and shoved him up against one of the many sturdy poles that lined the centre of his tent and smashed his lips against the other man’s whilst somehow shoving Hamilton’s back further into the pole. He was so engrossed with the kiss that he didn’t notice Alexander’s hands worming their way from their tight grip on his hips to bury themselves in his hair yanking it harshly to get him to stop the utter assault on his senses.

John just held Alex as he started to see tears start to form in his lover’s eyes standing there just hugging the man as he started to cry.

“We can’t do this anymore John… I’m married and…. I… I like Eliza, I really do and she’s pregnant… I’m going to be a father John. We have to stop, I can’t. I can’t.”

He broke down at this point, still half-dressed clutching on to Laurens’ uniform as he did so who just stood there in shock. Alexander was going to be a father and probably a brilliant one at that, plus he was married himself, he shouldn’t be doing this either, it was sinful and wrong to be a homosexual, that’s what his father told him anyway. But he felt no love for his wife who was waiting for him back home, he felt more of a romantic connection to his best friend than her. No scrap that. He loved the man, the headstrong and rebellious mess of a man who often forgot to sleep with the amount of letter he had to write for Washington on a daily basis, once going a whole three days with no sleep whatsoever.

But this was a problem indeed.

John had been so caught up with his thoughts that he didn’t realise that by the time he came back to reality that Hamilton had stop crying instead burying himself into John’s chest, deeply breathing to try and catch his breath, mumbling to himself as he did so, saying a few incoherent words before looking up at Laurens’.

“… And that’s the thing John, I may like Eliza but… I love you, I know it’s wrong and sinful and everything wrong. But love is love you know and I don’t care anymore about what .”

He just stood once again in shock, gazing at the incredible man in front of him, the man who had lost everything yet rose up against all odds to become the right-hand man to leader of the rebellion, the man who was passionate about so much despite all the hardships that life has thrown at him. The man he loved with every fibre of his body.

“Alex… You’re the closest friend I’ve got. And I would love nothing more than for it to be you and me for forever. But we live in a time where we can either be ourselves or die and I would do it for you… and although I may not live to see your glory, if I die, I can die happy knowing I was loved by the most incredible person I have ever met. I love you. With every bone in my body.”

 

He stopped talking noting the tears falling like rain from his eyes, he tried to speak again but found himself unable to. Not knowing what to say. Opting for actions instead of words, he gripped Alex’s waist pulling him flush against his own body before continuing what he had started earlier burying his hands in Hamilton’s hair and kissing him, trying to convey everything he felt, all the raw emotion that couldn’t be conveyed by words. Alex once again pulled away this time to kiss his way down John’s jaw to get to that one spot on his neck that drove him insane. Laurens’ replying with nothing more than feint groans, trying to keep the noise down so they would be found. Eventually they made their way to the small bed that live in the corner of the flimsy structure before giving in and losing themselves in the pleasure of one another.

“I love you so much, you have no idea”

John whispered as the subject of his affections slept, he snuck out to go back to his own bunks that he shared with a member of his battalion and as the sun set he was just glad that he got to spend his last night at the camp with the man he loved most.

The next day Laurens’ and his troops left under the cover of darkness for a battle they would never return from. Alexander went home to his wife and once again learned to pretend.

 

Alexander learned a month later that the man he loved was dead.

 

He was never the same after that, his son was the only thing that kept him from going mad with grief. Well… his son and his work. He lived many years longer than John did, but never forgot him

The memory of his old best friend drags him back to what was happening to him. He lay, sinking into the mud, the same place where his son died, Burr’s gunshot still resonating around them.

 He remembered that last night with John more vividly than ever and as the bullet in his chest began to kill him, for a moment he thought he saw John among all the chaos that had been caused from his bloodshed.

From across the field the ethereal version of John walked towards him a tear falling from his face as he was once again reunited with the lover he had been apart from for so many years. And John sat beside him, holding the dying man’s hand as he passed into the spirit world to join him.

 

_On the 12 th of July 1804, Alexander Hamilton died. He died with a smile upon his face and John’s name on his lips. Reunited once more. _


End file.
